A MagiQal Life

Learning to share I think is an important life lesson that can be easily lost upon an only child. It can be lost on children that have siblings too old to be at a playing age as well.

 Both points I think are proven in my two boy grandchildren. Perrin is an only child, and for the better part soiled because of it. All the toys here are HIS and if anyone touches them he has a fit. Devin has a sister, but she is a few years older then he is, and a girl, so most of his toys are his as well. Get these two children together and its nothing but child tears and parents saying now let him play with it as they point to the other child.

 Today I have Lakota over and she was playing with the blue car while Perrin was playing with the green one. He noticed that she had one that he did not have so in his reality there was no longer a green car at all and only a blue one. I would not let Lakota give it to him, rather I gave him back the green one but as the green one was seemingly now non-existent there was nothing but screaming and tears as he got a healthy dose of “you have to share”.

 15 minutes later and he is now in bed 30 minutes early for a nap, and hes only just now starting to simmer down from the fit flinging.

 Terrible twos indeed! And to top that off, I am going to do my very best to have Lakota or Devin over at least once a week for the rest of the summer so I can do my part in instilling such a wonderful virtue of sharing.

 Being a grandparent (or even a parent or babysitter) is a magickal thing, and I fully believe that, though it’s not always shiny white magick that TV and story books make it out to be. Though you can bet on me making it look what way if I ever get around to writing that Q sitcom

Share This

Perrin has learned the word NO and he knows what it means on many levels. I got to thinking how he learned the word and I think it bothers me.

I’m amazed that NO is not the first word that most children learn, as it’s likely the word they hear more often then any other.

As a babysitter I tell him NO more then I tell him YES, as when he can do something I say ‘you can do that’ and there is simply no yes about it. When he does something he should not be doing, he gets a stern NO.

As his Papaw I tell him NO more then I tell him YES as I simply do not have enough money to spoil him like he deserves (also see reasoning as a babysitter).

As a secondary babysitting tool the TV encourages NO more then it does anything positive. Even when something positive comes up, its rarely a YES that is given. In nearly every show (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, DoodleBops, Dora, etc, etc.) when they come across a problem, it’s almost always multiple choice.

Is thing1 what we need to solve problemA? NO!
Is thing2 what we need to solve problemA? NO!
Is thing3 what we need to solve problemA? You betcha!

So really it’s no wonder that NO is one of the little guys favorite three words EVER, as he hears it time and time again, all day long.

I think I am going to try training myself to find alternatives to NO (nope, nada, not this time). Maybe even start up with words like MAYBE. I also plan on trying to work on YES a little more. Possibly by setting him up in scenarios that will require a more positive answer. Like giving multiple choices and picking the right one first.

I’m not really sure, but I do know that NO is an issue (with more then just my little munchkin). I mean, how can we build a positive future with so much negative reinforcement?

Share This

Sweet Tennessee
Drove past Ohio and Indy with no regret
Left P.A. and Kentucky without a fret
I’ve been through Georgia and Illinois
Both those states to me, annoy
Not Michigan, Virginia or Caroline
Can compare to the one I love so fine
So in this state I’ll forever be
With my Sweet Cyndi, Tennessee

Over hills and knobs and mountains tall
I’ve hiked and biked or saw them all
Over lakes and creeks and rivers wide
I’ve waded, swam, or on boats did ride
In many other states I’ve done the same
But for apples to oranges they’re all just lame
There is but one state I’ll forever be
With my Sweet Cyndi, Tennessee

A little over two years ago I moved from Michigan to Tennessee to be with the one I love. This was likely the biggest decision I’d ever make in my life and I am very pleased that I did make the correct decision, Prior to actually packing my stuff up and hauling it through five states I only talked to Cyndi on the phone and have a few brief instances of seeing her on a web cam. Granted, we talked for thousands of hours on the phone (yes, thousands!) but up till that fateful day in the parking lot of Hardies, I had yet to physically meet her. But I guess, I’m not really writing about her, though, none of what I’m going to say later could have ever happened with out her (so for that I’ll be forever grateful).

I was born in Texas, then moved around a bit for the first two years of my life, then was raised in Michigan. I spent the better part of 30 years there and was happy with my life. One of the biggest joys staying up there was camping, hiking, fishing, and otherwise being outside in nature. I spent time in little forests and big lakes and loved every moment of it. I’ve been up upper Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, and even once got to spend a little time in Pennsylvania and Virginia. I positively loved the mountains in PA and always wanted to return there. I even, for a time, wanted to move, but could never have afforded such a transition, so I just pushed such notions to the back of my mind as flights of fancy.

Then once lazy afternoon I met this wonderful woman, Cyndi. We were a match made in the heavens, put together by the gods of love, as I’ve never found a more perfect match. There was a slight problem though, and that was the 5 state commute to go see her. So hell or high water, I sold my house and made the fateful trip I mentioned above. I didn’t get a chance to drive through Pennsylvania on the way down here, but that was really OK, I got to ride through Kentucky, and the two look pretty much alike, but neither come close to comparing the mountains here. I can feel the magick, I can smell it in the air, I can bath within its rivers, I can wade through it’s creeks and valleys. Not only did my heart of hearts find it’s home here, so did my body and soul.

So it’s in Tennessee, and with my sweet Cyndi that I want to spend the rest of my life, and this is where I’ll want my body to rest when I pass on to the other side.

Share This

Growing up I loved my Mother, and my Grandparents. My brothers I really could not stand but always felt the need to defend them (Don’t fuck with the Rowley Boys, they’ll put you in the hospital) but I never really felt the closeness of “family” with any of them. Not even when my older brother moved his family in to my house. They were not a close batch of biscuits and I could not stand his wife (at the time). I didn’t even feel the closeness of Family when I got married to my ex-wife. Yes, I loved her, but we were not family…a couple yes, but not a family.

 Now that I’ve found Cyndi though, that has changed. I feel a special closeness down here that I’ve never felt before. This family has flaws, but you can feel the love. Maybe it’s the interaction I now have with children, maybe it’s the deeper love I hold for Cyndi, maybe it’s how her kids treat her, I really don’t know, but what I do know is that there is something magickal here. Something that’s been missing all of my life. Something I am very happy to now be a part of.

 My newfound daughters do not call me Father, but I do like to think they call me friend. I’m also friends with the grand children, and close friends (at least for now while they are still young). I’m proud as any blood relative could ever be of each and every one of them. I love them all in their own special way, and I’m happy that I am a part of their lives, and more importantly I am proud that they are a part of mine.

 I look forward to my family growing and of being a part of it for many years to come.

Share This